In episode 117, I’m talking about why you are already overqualified, and what it looks like to stop waiting for permission to pursue what you deserve.
If you’ve been sitting on an idea, a promotion, a business, or a bold next move, and you keep telling yourself you’re not ready yet, this episode is for you. So many high achievers, especially women and women of color, have been carrying the weight of generations and still manage to doubt themselves before they even get started. That stops here.
In this conversation, I break down why waiting to feel ready is a trap, how your brain is designed to keep you in the familiar, and the practical tools you can use to build evidence and move forward, even when it feels messy.
Listen to the episode here: You’re Overqualified: How to Stop Waiting to Feel Ready
You Have Always Been the Person for This
The women I work with are some of the most capable, driven, resourceful people I have ever met. And almost all of them have something in common: they have been doing the hard work their entire lives.
They were the ones translating paperwork for their parents, managing their siblings, holding the household together while showing up fully in every room they walked into. They were the project managers of their families before they ever had a job title. They carried the mental, emotional, and physical labor of generations, and they did it with grace.
That is not background. That is a qualification.
So when that same woman tells me she is not sure she is ready to ask for the raise, launch the business, or go for the next big move, I want her to understand something. The doubt is not data. It is conditioning. You have been overqualified since the day you were born. The evidence has always been there. We just have to collect it.
Part of what makes this so layered for women, and especially women of color, is the beautiful tension between the values instilled in us growing up and the culture of corporate America. When we are raised to prioritize the collective, to do what is best for the group, to support the people around us, self-advocacy can feel unfamiliar. And yet we watch people with far less experience move confidently through doors we are still waiting to be invited through. The squeaky wheel moves through. Not because it is the most qualified. Because it showed up.
Your Brain Is Protecting You — Here’s How to Work With It
Here is something important to know: your brain is not working against you. It is doing exactly what it was designed to do.
Our brains are wired for safety and familiarity. Any time we consider a bold move, our nervous system reads it as a potential threat and sounds the alarm. So we pause. We prepare a little more. We tell ourselves we need one more certification, one more year of experience, one more sign that everything is aligned.
That instinct comes from a place of care. But it also keeps us in the same lane we are already in.
Readiness is not a feeling that arrives before you take action. It is something that builds as you take action. The messy, imperfect, figure-it-out-as-you-go kind of action that actually creates momentum. The goal is not to silence the alarm. It is to give your nervous system enough evidence that moving forward feels safe.
The Evidence Ladder: Using Facts, Not Just Feelings
One of the tools I use most often with my clients is what I call the evidence ladder.
When a goal feels too big, it is usually because we are looking at the whole leap instead of the steps. Our nervous system cannot process “start a business” or “ask for a promotion” as a single doable thing. It sees the distance and pumps the brakes. So instead, we map the building blocks. We break the goal down into smaller, concrete steps and start collecting evidence, real receipts, real data, that moving forward is possible for you specifically.
Your feelings are always worth listening to. They are signals, not stop signs. If something feels exciting and terrifying at the same time, that usually means it matters. But feelings alone, without facts to anchor them, can keep you spinning. The evidence ladder gives you both. The feelings point you toward what you want. The facts help your mind and your nervous system trust that you can get there.
That is the shift. From “I hope I can do this” to “here is the proof that I already have.”
Real Client Stories
Let me show you what this looks like in practice.
One of my clients came back from maternity leave ready to go for a promotion. Her new manager told her she would need to wait for a full one-year review cycle. Instead of accepting that as a fixed answer, we sat down and built her evidence: her contributions, her impact, and the business case for why six months was the appropriate timeline. She went back, had the conversation with confidence, and she is now in the cycle at six months. She moved her promotion timeline up by half a year, not by being louder or more aggressive, but by showing up with a plan and the data to back it up.
Another client stepped away from her corporate job and had always dreamed of building her own business full time. She was living in New York City, no safety net, no backup plan. The goal felt enormous. So we built the evidence ladder together, mapping what she already had to offer, what her first steps should be, and what she needed to land her first clients. When I caught up with her recently, she was working from a beautiful hotel lobby, fully booked, partnering with women-led brands that genuinely light her up. She still does not have a website.
What both of them had in common was a decision. They decided to collect the proof instead of waiting for the feeling.
Key Takeaways
– You have been overqualified your entire life, the doubt is not data, it is conditioning.
– Your brain is protecting you, and you can work with it by building evidence instead of waiting for certainty.
– Feelings are signals, not stop signs. Facts are the fuel that makes forward motion feel possible.
– The evidence ladder helps your nervous system trust that your goal is within reach.
– Readiness is built through action, not through preparation alone.
Timestamped Overview
00:00 Episode Introduction: You’re Overqualified
01:32 Why You Have Been Overqualified Since Birth
02:54 Cultural Values, Identity, and Corporate America
05:05 Why Waiting to Feel Ready Keeps You Stuck
05:43 The Evidence Ladder: Facts Over Feelings
07:40 Client Stories: Real Results in Real Life
10:47 Stop Snoozing on Your Goals: Next Steps
Want More Support?
If something in this episode sparked something in you, I would love to be in your corner.
I work with ambitious women and women of color in private coaching, in three and six month engagements, and within the first one to two sessions, my clients go from circling their goals to having a real, mapped-out plan with the data and strategy to back it up.
If you are ready to collect your evidence and build your next move, let’s talk. Book a call to learn more about coaching.
- Website: https://www.danitan.com
- LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/dani-tan
Read the podcast episode transcript below.
Read the full episode transcript
00:00 just want to jump in to today's episode which is highlighting the theme of our new podcast title. And that is you're overqualified. 00:08 how to stop waiting to feel ready. And so there is this big thing that will come up when it comes to, do I feel ready to do the thing? 00:20 So do I feel ready that I can ask for this promotion? Do I have to take X, Y, and Y, and Z steps in order to really ask for it? 00:29 Do I feel ready to start this business? Do I have to have more experience or create more planning or, you know, figure out the perfect ideal client, am I ready, you know, am I qualified enough? 00:41 You know, can I become a speaker? Can I go for a new kind of career and career path and trajectory?
00:48 And so a lot of these times what's coming up for us is we're trying to qualify ourselves. We're trying to say, am I an expert? 00:55 Do I have enough experience? Am I able to do this? and honey, yes you do. Yes you do. Especially the women that I work with, especially, right? 01:06 Because you are so ambitious, you are so driven, you are so dedicated, you are so motivated when it comes to your work, when it comes to your family, when it comes to your friends, typically who I'm working with ever since they were a little child, they have been given responsibilities to take on for 01:23 their family. They are the ones parenting their parents and their family or they are the ones parenting their siblings or they are the ones who are figuring everything out.
01:32 So you are, as whom I'm talking to, you have been overqualified since the day you were born. And that is because you have been shouldering the mental, emotional, physical labor of generations and generations from the guy on the project in college who did not do his work that you had to carry the way 01:53 from your parents who didn't understand how to felt some paperwork you had to do it for them even though it was their responsibility as a parent for you who was taking care of your younger siblings right when your parents were busy multitasking doing too many things because they were busy with work. 02:08 That's totally understandable but it doesn't mean that you have engaged all this experience and qualities to be the project manager right of people's lives and of your life right to bring things to fruition to be launching multiple things at once.
02:23 And so anytime you doubt yourself and you stop yourself from feeling as though you are ready, I want to think to yourself, would you tell that to your friend and would you tell that to your family member? 02:34 If your friend was telling you that they don't feel ready to do something, they don't feel ready to ask for a salary increase, they don't feel ready to ask for a promotion, they don't feel ready to start a business. 02:44 What would you tell them? What would you tell them? And this is, I'm coming in hot today because it breaks my heart and this is why I do this work. 02:54 It breaks my heart because listen, having changed careers five times, having go from a sample coordinator to a VP of a billion dollar company and I say that because by doing that I saw so many mediocre people in high level positions doing the bare minimum asking for the most.
03:16 And what ends up happening is that the squeaky wheel does move through because they are vocal, they're in the right places at the right time, they're talking to the right people, and so even though they may not be the most qualified or the most experienced, they make it up. 03:33 And so when we have cultural differences or different cultural values, which I talk about a lot, like I'm mixed identity all, like I was born in America, but my family is from the Philippines, China, Puerto Rico, like there is a whole mix of identity there of these different cultures. 03:49 So growing up in America with these different values, there's a difference between like the collective, doing what's best for the group, doing what's best for the unit, versus being very like individualistic and just focusing on yourself and trying to make yourself successful.
04:05 And so when these things start to combat in corporate America, we start to wonder why, okay, why does it feel like it's falling off for women, especially women of color to get into leadership positions? 04:16 And that's because a lot of the values that were instilled in us are beautiful, are gorgeous values that were instilled in us. 04:23 But we just have to become aware of, okay, when we're in a certain system that values certain values over others, do we want to one figure out how we can change that for the overall system and the environment and for the future generations? 04:38 Do we want to just let it fly like that? And how do we want to make our lives become more successful? 04:43 Well, how do we want to create success for ourselves and how do we want to define that?
And so what I'm talking about is this. 04:50 I just don't want you to discount yourself before you get there. And so this is for you. If someone has been noodling on some idea and you have not taken action towards it, I just want you to notice that you are cutting yourself off from an opportunity. 05:05 And so what can you do to take these steps forward? How can you start to feel ready? You're not. You're not going to feel ready. 05:12 Because our brains, we don't want to bring it back to our brains, our brains want to keep us safe, our brains want to keep us in something that's familiar Our brains want to keep us in something that is secure And so you're going to stay in the same exact lane if you are waiting to feel ready So how 05:27 you search and know if things are ready and right is by taking action and taking steps forward And it's going to be messy.
05:33 It's going to be so messy and you may fail at times Which sounds really terrifying and you may say to me, Danny. 05:38 I don't have a backup plan. Danny. I don't have a trust fund but Danny, I don't have a savings. Okay, I get it. 05:43 So then that tells me you're taking two big of a step. So take a smaller step towards your goals. I talk about this with my clients called the evidence ladder. 05:50 Okay, the evidence ladder. So when we wanna take a really big step, so I have my clients smack this out, this exercise with me. 05:58 Let's say the big step is I wanna change careers, the big step is I wanna ask for this promotion, this big step is that I wanna start my business, right? 06:05 And they're like, nope, feel scary.
That's because our nervous system and our minds are like, I'm jumping off a cliff here. 06:11 I can't make it happen. And so we feel like I'm not an expert enough, I don't have enough certifications, I don't have enough education, I don't have enough experience. 06:18 And so we start to say they were underqualified. And so I'm always like, you are overqualified, you have to collect the evidence, collect the receipts, I'm all about the receipts, I'm all about the data. 06:28 And so I have them work through the evidence ladder where we figure out where are the building blocks to get you to your goal. 06:35 And that's what helps you not just go off the feelings, but also facts, which is what I'm all about.
And so how can you use the feelings as signals, as to why you're feeling like, ooh, I'm not ready, I'm gonna stop. 06:46 What is that feeling actually? Is it fear? And if that is the case, how do we collect the data, the facts, to help counteract and support those feelings? 06:58 And to move you forward to what it is that you wanna pursue. And so this is where I go in here of you're overqualified all this time. 07:06 You just need to work through the system to achieve that goal by breaking down the data and evidence to help support it, to help your mind, your nervous system realize that it is possible. 07:17 And so the question that I have for you to kind of reflect on and think about is, what is the thing that I did that was a big jump or a big move?
07:24 Like did you make a big move? Did you, you know, decide on a major? Did you decide on going to a company, a new company? 07:32 If you have made a big decision in the past that maybe you were like nervous and didn't feel ready to do, what did you do to make it happen? 07:40 And that is something to kind of noodle on to figure out. And so I say all this because I'm just thinking about like two different clients, honestly three different clients that I have this week, where I was having chats. 07:51 So I have one client who, total baddie, she went on maternity leave and she came back and she wanted to go for a promotion and basically she had a new manager come in and she was told that she's going to have to wait for a one-year review cycle.
08:06 And so we sat down and created a plan of like, let's click the date of the evidence of like why that's probably not the scope of what is that you want. 08:13 She was able to go back and combat it and now she is in the cycle for six months. So she basically, by sitting down and collecting the evidence and versus saying like, oh, I'm not qualified. 08:22 I don't have all the things. It was like, no, let's sit down and qualify it of how to achieve that. 08:27 Now she's moved up her cycle by six months, half a year. She moved it up by half a year. And so just knowing that, like, you can sit down and do this work for yourself of what it is that you want, how to get there. 08:37 My other client, she was, you know, her and her organization parted ways.
She always wanted to go full-time in her business and she was like, oh, they can do it. 08:46 How can I ever support myself? How labels to cover my bills? I'm living in New York City. That stuff is in cheap, you know? 08:52 And so, oh my gosh, what am I going to fail? So, So again, it's like, ooh, big goal, big jump, right? 08:58 So one person's a promotion. The next person is starting their business. What if I have no safety in it? I've immigrated to this country, you know? 09:05 I don't have a backup plan. My family is overseas. What if I fail at starting this business for myself? And so again, it was the same thing. 09:12 Like, okay, let's go to the exercise of mapping up the data and evidence of what is needed in order for this to happen.
09:18 I just caught up with her the other day. She's booked and busy. She has so many different clients that have come out of the work work from the exercises that we went through. 09:25 And now she is able to build her business work on her own term for where we were co-working yesterday and from this beautiful hotel lobby. 09:34 And she is working with all these different brands now where she's like, I was like working late and I'm getting paid out of this as amazing because she's she has her own business and she can do that. 09:43 And so that's the thing that's amazing. And for her it was always about having freedom of her time, her location, her being able to set her pricing, her being able to set who she works with, she's working with women-led brands.
09:54 So, you know, and this is our third time working together. The first time we worked together was for her to get a job which she did and she landed and she got a double promotion and she doubled her salary and now working together again. 10:06 And this time it's about her building out her business and going like full time on her own. And so I'm just so proud for her, right? 10:12 Because a lot of these fears could stop us from taking this action like, oh, I'm not ready. I don't have an official website. 10:18 Just like in a website, like I don't have a website, I don't have this. No, it's about doing the thing and putting yourself out there. 10:24 And that is when you start to feel ready.
You build as you go. I know that feels so scary for a lot of us because it doesn't feel safe for us. 10:30 And so that's the biggest thing that I'm gonna help you with is figuring how to make it feel safe, right? 10:35 How to make it feel safe. And that's the most important thing. So I go on and on about my clients. 10:41 I absolutely love and adore them. And they are total baddies. I love them so much, but I will not bore you with that. 10:47 But I would say this for you. So if you have been sitting on something for a while, waiting to see if you're ready, but that idea has been sitting for months, maybe even years. 10:56 Then I would say book a call to learn about what it's like to work together in private coaching.
I'm working with people exclusively in private coaching just because I have found I love it. 11:05 I love it so, so, so much. We get so much deeper, I move them along so much faster just in two sessions. 11:12 Two sessions, I've tracked it, because I'm all into data as we know. I went back, I did an analysis of all my client calls, All of my clients' goals, what did they want to achieve? 11:21 And I found within one to two sessions, they felt like they were re-taking action towards their plan of what they wanted, whether that was getting their promotion mapped out and approved by their manager for a timeline and for a budget, whether that was for being able to go all in on their business or 11:36 start to build out their business part time while incorporate.
And so I would say to you, like, why snooze on anymore? 11:41 Like the one resource that we can never get back is time. It's time. you can buy more time, you know? 11:48 And so I would just say if you are too busy scrolling like stop and let's take some action on some of your goals. 11:54 And so what does it look to work together? Is the first step you're going to see is to book a call. com. There's a contact tab you click on that tab and you book a call with me and the call is 60 minutes and the reason why it's 60 minutes is because we want to make sure it makes sense. 12:11 I don't just take on anyone. I always want to make sure it feels right for both of us. And so on that call we're going to talk about what your goals are, where you're kind of feeling stuck, where you would like support, and then I would talk about a plan for you and what looks like to work together.
12:23 It's always a custom plan based off of that person's goals, and what they want to achieve when they're coming into a call. 12:29 And so just knowing that's what it's really like. So we're kind of like diagnosing for like the first half hour, I'm giving you recommendations on the plan, and then I close it out on how it's like to work together officially. 12:38 All right, and so I work with folks either in three months segments or six months segments if you're like Oh, I don't know. 12:44 I have no idea which one will be best. Don't worry. I'll recommend one to you Ultimately, you're the decider, but I will always recommend one for you And so I highly recommend just booking call so we can get to know each other and meet each other Um when you book a call there's an intake form that's 12:57 gonna ask you some questions Build that out that helps me feel informed on how to best serve you And how to best recommend a plan of what's like to work together And so if you're like, I don't have a plan.
13:06 I don't know what I want to do That's why you're coming to coaching. That's what we're gonna do to work together. 13:12 So if you're kind of like, I know I wanna do something for myself but I'm not sure what it is, we'll talk about it. 13:17 That's totally okay. I'll tell you this like years ago when I was signing up for coaching, I knew I wanted to have a business but I wasn't sure what kind of business it was. 13:25 And so I was like, I could never make an investment in coaching. I don't know what I wanted to be. 13:29 No, I figured it out in coaching and I built that out by understanding what my skill sets were, what my experiences were and how to translate that over and something that I wanted to do.
13:36 So that's what I have a lot of my clients with. A lot of them have broken into leadership. And now they're like, woof, I want a long-term plan, something for myself. 13:43 And so now they're building consulting businesses alongside their corporate careers. Or they're doing some freelance work alongside their career. So they start to seed something for future them when they want to go full-time. 13:54 Or I have folks who are being first-time people leaders. And they're like, okay, I want to break into this, people leader role so I can manage people, develop them. 14:02 But I need to one figure out what my next role would be, how to scope that out. I want to figure out what my promotion path is, so we do promotion planning together and I want to figure out once I get in there, how do I do a good job?
14:12 Right? Because we get a whole different set of skills when it goes from being a doer to executor to strategist, right? 14:18 And so I'm all about facts, feelings, and strategy. So if any of these things resonate with you and you've kind of been being like, oof, unstuck, I don't know, I haven't been taking action. 14:27 What am I avoiding? I love my avoidant girlies. So go ahead book a call and I hope to see you on the next call. 14:36 And so just know again, this is Danny Tan and you're listening to that you're overqualified podcast. Have a good one.
