Dani Tan: Hi, I'm Dani Tan, and if you're here, you are in the right place. Welcome to the Pivot and Promotion podcast where we say forget the rules because they weren't written for us. I'm Dani Tan. I'm your host as well as career and leadership coach and a proud advocate for redefining what success and leadership looks like. And here's what I know. You can lead at any level. You can pivot at any age, any. And you can make moves that feel right for you. Whether you're climbing the corporate ladder, starting something completely new, or just figuring out your next step. I've got you covered with strategies, stories and straight up inspiration. So let's make some moves. Hello, how are you and welcome in to the new year.

I know that it is the January time, so there's so many different fields that go into the month of January. I feel like it is okay, this newness of what is it that I want to achieve in the next year? Also, like some things you're parting with from the year prior, but then also there's sometimes a little bit of this pressure of like, what I have to decide or what do we need to do? So I would just say, like, there is a happy medium between taking the action of what it is that you want to do and taking some restfulness as well. But as you're going this year, you're probably going to think a lot, thinking a lot about what it is that you've been wanting to do, goals wise, what it is you've wanted to do, action wise, whether it is from starting a business, making a career move where you are currently within, internally in your organization, or externally starting that new thing.

And so if you feel as though you have been thinking and thinking and thinking about it over and over again, but maybe not taking that step forward towards it, we're going to talk a lot about today in today's session about why thinking more isn't helping. And so this is for you. If you keep thinking, you know, well, thinking is the responsible thing to do. Let me think of all the scenarios and that is what is going to help me. I want you to listen to this today. And it's, it's really, it's not about thinking your way into the right decision, but more so, you know, being able to see when you have kind of used the tool of thinking for too long and it's time to bring something else in. So let's go ahead and talk about this.

So if you were somebody who's been thinking about that business they've been wanting to start or you've been thinking about making that move or asking for that promotion or negotiating something. Like I just want you to understand, like how long have you been thinking about it and when is it actually time to take action? A lot of the women that I work with, they either have been working in their 9 to 5 and they have been thinking about getting that promotion, that next step up, or they're ready to build something for themselves. And so a lot of them are like, I don't want to burn it all down. How can I build something while I'm currently in the org that I am? So like they want their full time job and they also want to build something for themselves to eventually go into full time.

But they just keep thinking about like the perfect time, the perfect moment, the perfect business idea, the perfect way. And the thinking has just endlessly, never stopped. And so, you know, really speaking to that or even making that change, that big move when it comes to your career, like the endless thinking of when will I have the right credentials, when will I have the right experience? Like you could think your way endlessly through something. But let's talk about, you know, the different ways to kind of break this down. So in true form you will get some moments of reflection, you will get some tools that you can utilize and use that use with my clients and we will break it down. So here's the first thing, why thinking stops helping at a certain point.

Okay, so early on when you are thinking about either starting a business, getting a promotion, changing careers, right? Stepping into leadership in a bigger way, thinking is super useful, right? It helps you understand your options, it helps you assess your risk, it helps you understand the trade offs on what scenarios you potentially want to go into. But there's a point where you have, you have gathered enough information, you have replayed the scenarios, the same scenarios in your mind over and over, over again and nothing new has emerged. And that is when thinking quietly turns into a loop. I talk about this a lot with my clients, about, okay, now we're sitting on a loop here. We're repeating, we're repeating, repeating, repeating the same thought or the same belief.

And so is this something that's going to be helpful? And so I had one client who kept repeating this loop over and over again about this, this fear, this fear about going into her business. She knows she wanted to build a business. So she basically she got promoted within her career, she got promoted within her 9 to 5. So she got a leadership position and then she's like, okay, I know at the end of the day, long term, I want to build something for myself. And so she wanted to build business and she had been thinking about it for like years and years. And I'm also, I, I share this a lot about myself. I thought about building a business 2018, I didn't start till 2022, 2023. And so if you are still thinking about the same loop and you're trying to think your way to get all the little details and bits and bobs to feel good about it, then you are probably getting yourself a little bit stuck.

So for her, she was getting stuck because now before it was a very clear path of like working together, how to get a promotion, how to get into a leadership position. We worked through that, but you kept sitting on this idea of building a business for herself and building something for herself. And so with that, I said to her, you know, now we have to look at this at a different angle because you are not missing any insight of when is the right time to do this or how is the right way to do this, who's the right person to help or was the mission that you should be doing. Like there is no additional insight missing. What you have to do now is actually take an action towards it, an action forward.

A lot of us sometimes will say I need to have the perfect name for my llc or I have to have the perfect name for my services. I have to have the perfect package of my services and the perfect pricing and the perfect things that I'm offering and the perfect ideal client client, the perfect idea for marketing. But the reality is you have to just start to make movement. And so I just want this to kind of land in the sense of thinking is a tool. It is not meant to carry the weight of the entire decision. Right? It's. You can't just think. You're always to a decision. You also to take action towards that. So my reflection prompt for you and the thing that I want you to think about is what question are you still thinking about?

Even though no new answers are coming up, you keep thinking about this one thing. You're like, oh, okay, okay. I keep thinking about when am I going to start my business, what I'm going to ask for that promotion, what am I going to, you know, negotiate my salary, when am I going to go ahead and do that speaking engagement, what am I going to do these things. But no new answers are coming up as to why you should or shouldn't. It's like the same stuff over and over again. Then it's time to, you know, have some movement. And so this is the next piece I want to talk about is how the cost. The cost of staying in your head. What is the cost of doing that? And so when thinking becomes the main and sole strategy, a few things start to happen.

Slowly. You start to doubt decisions you used to trust yourself to make, because that's the only tool you're allowing yourself to have. You start to mentally get really, really busy because you're just constantly looking at these little loops like little Saturn rings in your head. But you are so emotionally stuck because you feel like, oh, I want to do something. But you haven't done it because you're sitting on a loop, Right? And so now you're starting to delay action, which then starts to come up as maybe frustration, or you start to feel like you're indecisive, or you're starting to feel like, ooh, I flip flop. But the reality is that you actually have not gone in with intention after what you wanted to get to do.

And so you're delaying it. And so I want you to use this exercise that I like to use with my clients, which is called, like, the thinking loop. So this thinking loop helps you kind of do like a little gut check. And the idea of it is, when you're on a loop, how can you check yourself essentially? And so here are the three questions I want you to ask yourself and to sit with is, number one, have I already thought about this exact question before? So what I'm questioning on this loop, have I thought about the same question before? Number two, has any new information actually changed anything? Okay. Has any new information actually change anything? And number three, am I thinking to get clarity or am I.

Or am I avoiding discomfort? Right. And so here is a client example. I had a client who, she was stuck on this loop. She was like, my. I just. I don't think my business is. Is going to be a real business. I don't feel like I've had enough sales in my business. I don't think it's real. And I said, okay, so you thought about this question and how many times you thought about it before? Oh, that's all you've been thinking about. Great. Has any new information actually changed anything? Have you brought any new information in? Has it actually changed that belief? Okay, okay. No. All right. So are you thinking your way to get clarity in the sense of your business actually doesn't work? Are you avoiding discomfort of actually facing and doing the work of understanding if your business is working or not.

And so when she started to realize like, okay, well actually by thinking this repeatedly, my business doesn't work, my business doesn't create revenue and realizing that I haven't changed anything, actually it's not helping me get more clarity just sitting on this loop. I'm actually just avoiding facing the fact that I haven't sat down and done diagnostic of what is working versus not working and backing it up with data, which we know, I love data and receipts. And so you know, what is that at the expense of? That's the expense of yourself. Right. The cost of staying in your head is actually creating more inaction towards helping yourself, which is honestly just self fulfilling prophecy of saying that it's not working.

And so just thinking about that for yourself and what you can do. It's the same thing when you're thinking about asking for a promotion or stepping into leadership if you think, well, I'm not ready yet, or well there I don't think I had all the requirements yet. Okay, so you keep thinking about that, but have you gotten any new information that actually would change that? So for example, have you asked a manager, have you asked a higher up of what is required for that to happen? And if the answer is like, no, I haven't gotten any new information to change anything. Okay, so then if you keep thinking about this, is it helping you get clearer or are you avoiding the discomfort of getting information by asking the people who can help you understand what is required for you to get promoted?

Right. And so this is the thing that I want you to think about. It's like we're not shaming the loop. The loop is there for a reason. The loop is there to kind of help you understand what it is that maybe you're having discomfort towards. But I just want you to know when you're kind of starting to live in it, like there's one thing to like hang out on a loop, maybe visit a loop, but if you start to build, build like a home or like a multi, multi level apartment complex, I want you to start to deconstruct because we don't have to live there. And I think that's the biggest thing. And so the question that I have for you to kind of reflection is where has thinking become a substitute for action?

So when you think for yourself, okay, where am I kind of sitting on a loop and overthinking how has that maybe potentially become a substitute for action for you? And then the next piece that I want us to talk about is how to move when Thinking stalls. And so this is not about forcing action. It is about changing the space that you're in, the container that you're in. And so let's go ahead and break that. So going into it, the next piece that I would say is part three is how to move when thinking stalls. And so thinking, I mean, like how to move when thinking styles. Now, this isn't about let me force action. Let me not, you know, think about things, but it's about one understanding. You have identified that you are sitting on a loop and you are overthinking me potentially something.

And so versus feeling like you're forcing action, I want you to think about how you're changing the environment or you're changing the space, you're changing the container on how you're approaching it. So versus having it sit in your mind repeatedly on a loop. The first step, this is step one I want you to do is they want you to name the decision outside of your head. So what is the step? Decision or thought? And write it down. So say it out loud, write it down, and let it exist somewhere other than your thoughts. That is the first piece. The next piece is I want you to, like, narrow down the decision. So I want you to understand and shrink the weight that you are giving this decision, the weight that you're giving this thought, and to know that this thought or this decision, you're not choosing forever.

It's not meant to be forever. You're choosing an outcome or, excuse me, a decision as a test direction and a next step. So let's say you're sitting on a loop of should I start my business? Should I start my business? Versus it sitting in your head. Write it down, should I start my business? And then I want you to say it out loud. And then I want you to think about versus it being like, should I start my business? That sounds like a very decision that is forever. I want you to say, okay, how could I test this? How could I take a step towards this? Maybe that is for you, you know, looking for folks who could be potential ideal clients. You can just have informational interviews with how can you test it out?

And then the third part is acting before clarity arrives. And so clarity is not a prerequisite. It is the results. And so this is the biggest thing is like by taking this one step forward, it's actually going to give you some more clarity. So, for example, I had a client who was like, okay, I just am not sure you know, who my ideal client is. I'm not 100% sure. And she was like, I just don't know. I'm not, I'm not clear. Okay, so write it down. And then I want you to think about how picking your ideal client, it's not to be one person that you have forever. It is the starting point of who you believe your ideal client is and how it will change and evolve as you continue to serve people. You'll see who you want to help versus who you don't want to help, and then it'll evolve.

And that's totally okay. And so I, when we did that, it had this huge, big, big part of relief for her because then she realized, oh, wait a minute, I don't have to pick like the perfect person out the gate and then build everything around them. I can pick like my starting point of who I believe it is, and then it can evolve as it goes. And that is a way that you can go and take that. And the point is, is that you want to act before clarity arrives. By acting, it's allowing for clarity arrive because you're taking action which are to give you good data and information to read of what it is you like versus what you don't like. And that's what's most important. So I want you to think about is what is one action that you can take this week that will interrupt this loop that maybe you're potentially repeating for yourself.

And so those are three steps. Name. I just want to say how to move when thinking is kind of holding you back, installing you, and you have to kind of change it up for yourself is name the decision outside of your head. Say it out loud, write it down. Let exist somewhere outside of your thoughts. Don't give the decision so much weight. Right. Know that it's not future forever. So you are choosing a way to test or take a direction towards or next step and then act, take some kind of action towards it. And what would it look to interrupt that thought loop over and over again. Awesome. So just to break this down, this was why thinking more isn't always helpful in so many ways. Right. We have to take action towards it.

And why? There's a point where using the tool of thinking actually stops being helpful at a certain point once you start to live in a loop and keep repeating it. And so what is the cost of staying in your head? It's delaying, delaying you. It's stopping you. You're really want that same thing for the next few years. Yeah. I have clients who come to me who are like, oh, I've been thinking about this for months. I think about this for multiple years. You don't want to be a multiple year person because you want to go ahead and take action and do something different and make a change. That's why you've been thinking about it so much. I always say if it's something that has been sitting on your mind for so long, it's not gonna go away, it's gonna keep resurfacing in different ways where you're like, I'm tired of my business, I'm tired of my job, I'm tired of this.

And so help yourself by going ahead and tack taking it on head first, which is what we do in coaching. That's what I do with my clients and private coaching when it comes to that. My clients are extremely smart, are very, very capable. They have the to do list, they have the spreadsheets, they have the accolades. That's not what it's about. It's about the fact that they are starting to face something new that they have not done quite before. Whether that is stepping into a higher level of leadership they haven't been in before, whether that is building a brand new business, whether that is being able to speak on stages for themselves, what that might be for them. They're taking this new step.

And highly ambitious, motivated women know that if you want to make those things happen for you faster, you don't sit by yourself alone and try to figure it out. When you're trying to take an action that is new, you get help and you get support and you have a coach that's here to help you does not mean that you're not capable of willing. That's what we do. And so working together and coaching work together for three months. Three months and we meet bi weekly. We get to. I always say you have me on retainer for life essentially in a way because for three months we're together, we meet together biweekly on calls. You come in, you take an intake form, the onboarding form asks you all these amazing questions, we set your goals, I give you a customized coaching plan and then we have you tackle those action items at the end of each call before we meet for the next one.

And I'm constantly assessing where you need support and help. It's so much fun. I absolutely love it. And then in between sessions, you also have slack where you can ask me questions, drop me voice notes, drop me documents to review. I'm constantly reviewing know clients documents. When it comes to a business proposal, when it comes to networking strategies, when it comes to revising copy on their website, when it comes to building their website, when it comes to their resumes, their cover letters. And so we have a blast. And yeah, so if that sounds like something you're looking to do and you want to work together this year, I say let's get started because we are bringing in so much good energy going into 2026, and there's no reason for you to stop.

And so the best way to work together is to book a call with me. com and you go to contact. You can book a call with me. We will get on a call. You're going to submit your intake form. You're going to go ahead and talk about what your challenges are, what you're looking to work on together. And then on the call, I'm going to give you a customized coaching plan, a recommendation of what it's like to work together, and I'll let you know if it's a fit or not. And same with you. You should always go ahead and vet your coach. Listen to their podcast that they have one look at their resources, their tools before you work them so you feel good about it as well. And that's something that's really, with my clients.

I don't see us, everyone that I work with. And that's okay, too, just because I want to make sure it's a good fit for both of us. And I think that's really important. So. Alrighty. Well, hopefully you found this helpful and I will talk to you next week. Have a good one.