Dani Tan: Hi, I'm Dani Tan, and if you are here, you are in the right place. Welcome to the Pivot and Promotion podcast, where we say forget the rules because they weren't written for us. I'm Dani Tan. I'm your host as well as career and leadership coach and a proud advocate for redefining what success and leadership looks like. And here's what I know. You can lead at any level. You can pivot at any age, and you. And you can make moves that feel right for you. Whether you're climbing the corporate ladder, starting something completely new, or just figuring out your next step. I've got you covered with strategies, stories, and straight up inspiration. So let's make some moves. Hello. So today we are going to be talking about how trying new things teaches you about your belief, your confidence, and your growth overall, and just the importance of trying new things in general and just how it affects our brains, our experience, and our ability to know what is possible.

And fun Little fact, this is the hundredth episode of the Pivot and Promotion podcast. So we have hit 100 episodes, which is super exciting. And so the thought that came to mind when I was thinking about this topic in general was what is something that I would want to have a hundred around? And a big thing that came up to me was like, well, I would love to have experience trying a hundred new things. And. And then I started going through my list of the things that I've done for the first time, let alone this year, let alone in the last two years of all these new experiences that I've done for the first time. And then I was thinking about my clients and the big changes that they've made for the first time, things they've tried for the first time, and how it really does affect our belief in ourselves, our confidence, the ability to learn, to grow.

And it shapes us in so many different ways. And so in true form, I wanted to understand, like, how it affects our brains, the neuroscience behind it. And so I did a little bit of digging in there to see what came up, because I do truly believe that when you put yourself in new environments, new experiences around new people, that it does essentially evolve us and expand us. And so I wanted to kind of like dig into that overall and see. So let's break it down on how try new things and what it does and how it teaches you about your belief, your confidence and your growth. And so what, why new experiences even matter. Well, one, you don't, you don't really outgrow ever the need to try New things.

There's always going to be something new to learn or do or experience. And especially if you're somebody who's like pretty driven, a high achiever or just super curious, you're going to want to try some new things in general. And so the neuroscience or like the angle behind that is when you're trying something new, it fires up the dopamine in your brain. So your brain's like reward chemical and it boosts the neuroplasticity. So like, what does that mean? That means your brain's ability, ability to create new connections, it keeps your brain flexible and not fearful. Right. So think about it. If you're constantly trying new experiences, new things, one, you're firing up your brain's dopamine of like, oh, I like this like new thing that I'm doing.

But also you're giving your brain more flexibility that you're not rigid and only doing things one way. So you're, you're less fearful to try new things. You're less fearful to experience new things because you've become accustomed to doing that. And so it's pretty cool, I think. So I'm thinking about these things that I had done for the first time, just in general. And so I would say, you know, I tried some things in general of like doing a three day horse track would never in a million years. I think I've been on a horse probably like three, four times in my entire lifetime. And even then it was when I was really little and you're like on those family trips where like the horse takes you on the beach or something, but a three day horse trick where I was like riding horse for 12 hours in the course of three days and like staying in, staying in yurts, tent equivalent and you know, going through these like rolling landscapes and never in a million years did I think I'd be doing that.

And it was scary. I was like, oh my gosh, I'm not a professional horseback rider. What am I going to do? But doing that really for me at least I was like, okay for my brain. Oh, you know, it seems like it's like these things seem so far away and foreign and impossible, but once you just throw yourself into it and do an experience that you're like, wait a minute, it's not, it's not as scary as it may seem. And also like, wow, that like I'm able to do this, incapable to do this and it starts to kind of show you like I can push and challenge myself even more of what it looks like for What I can do, my capacity, which is pretty cool. Other thing that I never thought that I catch myself doing, but I did for the first time this year was like, windsurfing.

Well, really, it's called kite surfing. And so again was like, am I gonna be doing water sports in general? Like, I don't know. And. And I just tried it and I was like, oh, my gosh, it's terrifying to be getting pulled by the air that far up above water, but also is pretty cool because I was like, wait, I can still learn new things. And so I think the best thing for me when it came to this episode, I'm thinking of a hundred things. Like, I want to make a list of a hundred things that I have done for the first time and that I want to do for the first time. So I continue to just like, explore, expand, and challenge my brain in fun ways. It's not to be something that is always, like, challenging.

Push yourself. It could be challenging. Just like curiosity and exciting. And so just thinking about those things you could do for a first time and I think the, the thing that's important is that, you know, it's not about, oh, I have to master each thing. Like all these things that I did, I was not like, I'm going to become like a. A super experienced professional horseback rider or I'm going to become like a pro at, you know, kite surfing. It's none of those things. It was just that I wanted to be able to try to do something and just know how I felt after it. Like, wow, I did that. And I didn't have to wait to be perfect or have all the, all the knowledge before or study up before. Like, I can just do things them and then just being amazed at the fact that I even tried it.

And I think that's something that's really important just to kind of remember of, like, when we do something new, it rewards our brain, but also it boosts the plasticity within our brains to create these new connections that, wow, I have the flexibility to do something new. And it makes us less scared to try new things. Right? So how can you experience those little things where these new experiences really, truly matter and they do stock up. And so when you try something new, you're overriding that part of your brain that's trying to keep you safe and small. Right? Of course. We love our brain. It wants to keep us safe, it wants to keep us secure. It wants us to know what's familiar. Right? But when you intentionally decide to try something new, know that you're proving to yourself that you can handle some discomfort, and then you're expanding your capacity to try new things in general.

And so I think that's the part that's really important. And, you know, this is just something that is really. It really carries through, whether it is trying a new activity, a new experience, a new skill, or if you're trying to grow your business, if you're trying to build a business, if you're trying to create more visibility for yourself, if you're trying to become a speaker, if you are somebody who wants to do a TED Talk, if you're somebody who wants to just change careers, right, or become a leader, be seen as a leader, anything, to take these big leaps, to take these big steps. There will be fear because we are leaving. We're like, kind of saying, like, moving into a new identity, moving into a new version of ourselves.

And when we do that, it can be scary because you're like, you're leaving the safety of the home that you built to go into this new home. And so whenever we are experiencing new things and trying new things, it's actually preparing us for these new things that we want to jump into. So I would say, like, what are ways you can kind of start to practice, you know, trying new things and not for perfection, not to master them, but just to kind of experience being a beginner at something, to try something new at something, and how that will actually, you know, translate and transcend into all these bigger things you're trying to do for yourself. You're essentially setting up your mind in preparation for, like, hey, when things are scary, I can actually try something new.

Maybe there may be fear, but the fear will start to quiet down because I know that I've got my back and I know what I'm capable of because I've done new things before. And so the next thing is that you don't need it to be, like, this huge, big thing, and it's gonna be a big win. You just need to begin. So your brain doesn't need, like, some huge payoff that, like, you've mastered. Like, you've mastered scuba diving. You know, it doesn't have to be that big. It could just be that you're trying something small. So it just needs evidence that you did the thing. So knowing that your brain doesn't have to have, like, the ultimate level, it just needs some kind of evidence that you did the thing. Thing.

So small firsts, they matter. They matter so, so much. And so thinking about ways that could be. It could be you know, going out to dinner on your own versus always going to dinner with a group of people or with somebody else and, like, teaching yourself, like, ooh, maybe scared to do it, but I can do this dinner on my own. You know, it could be finally recording that podcast episode that you've been wanting to record. I've got clients who are like, I want to start the podcast for my business, and they're just nervous about it has to be perfect. The right title, the right outline, you know, the right cover art, all this stu. But it's like, maybe it's a challenge of, like, I'm just going to record the first one really messily and just see how it goes.

It's giving your brain evidence that it's possible and that you can do it. And so thinking of ways that you could do that, maybe it's. Oh, my gosh, this could be scandalous for, like, my. My type A, like, planners, but, like, having a weekend trip where you don't plan anything in advance, you just show up and kind of just like, stumble into things and see how things happen, you know, just proving yourself that, like, hey, it actually can be okay with. When everything is not overly planned. And so, you know, this is something that it really makes this big move for your identity. So every time you have followed through on these things that may seem a little bit scary or a little bit of, like, a pushing capacity, you're reminding yourself, I'm someone who takes action.

I don't freeze anymore. And so every time you're like, let me try this thing. Let me experience this thing. And then you actually do it, you're telling yourself, I. I'm telling myself that I'm someone who takes action. I don't wait, I don't freeze. I'm just going to go and experience it and try it. It's okay if I don't have all the little, little details. It's okay if I don't have the exact perfect plan, and I will be able to move it forward. And so, you know, I have amazing clients, but I do have. There's, like, these fears that come up, right? And like, you can be awesome, ambitious, driven, motivated. Maybe you're kind of just like, do something new. And so I had one client who was like, oh, my gosh, I really, really admire this person.

And I feel like if I reach out to them, it's going to be, like, weird. Like, I'm, like, fangirling and all this stuff. And I said, you know, like, what's the worst thing that could happen? And they said, oh, they don't reply. I don't know. And so they went, they sent a little message and they were like, oh, they didn't reply. I didn't hear back. And then a few weeks later, they heard back. The person was like, yeah, let's set up time just to chat. And they were chatting. And let me add this part. She really admired, you know, this person because of the business that they built and the company that they had. And so she was just kind of curious of like, ooh, like one day it'd be so cool to do a collaboration with them.

And so that little message evolved to a conversation which evolves to collaboration. So that's, like, pretty cool. I just think that for us to kind of like, put ourselves out there in small ways, it starts to make a little bit more normal for us. And so this is someone who was like, absolutely never going to message a person in a million years to someone who did that. And now they're totally unfazed when it comes to, I'm just going to send the message, message. And it was usually like a really big buildup. Like we're having a whole conversation about it. So, like, being able to show up for yourself of like, yeah, I can try this thing in a small way. And then, you know, without expectation, sometimes these things snowball and they become even bigger opportunities.

And that's something that's, that's, that's pretty major. And so I say this would be the thing that I would love for you to try. Try one thing. Just try one thing. Because when you're trying these small things and you survive them or you overcome them, you're actually expanding your comfort zone and you start to build this stu. Self trust at a whole new level. So what is something potentially that you want to maybe like, expand your capacity in? Is it something about learning a new skill? Is it something about putting yourself out there? What could it be that you would want to kind of like expand your capacity on? And what's a small baby step that you can take in order to start to move into that, that you can commit to yourself and make a promise to actually do.

And I'm kind of curious for all of you here because this is what makes change. This is what helps us evolve and actually grow. And that's what's the big differentiator between somebody who actually takes action. Action and who doesn't, and someone who actually will move forward versus someone who doesn't. And so being able to identify what is it ultimately that I want to Grow in. And what is a small step that I can take in order to make that happen. And so, you know, you don't get stuck in the freeze or the what ifs or the woulda, shoulda, coulda's. Right. So let's talk about the compound effects of first. Oh, so fun. So you know, when you're trying something new, you don't just get the experience.

You also get a new story about yourself. I'm talking about this identity, this new story about yourself identity about yourself. And so there are so many different things that can happen. It's like, so it could be something from someone who's applying for a new role before they feel ready and pitching themselves. Maybe it's for a raise or leading for it leads to a new project for the first time. So for example, I have clients who, but like, I'm ready to apply for this job, but I don't necessarily know if I'm ready. I don't know if I have all the roles and responsibilities. I don't know if I have all, like the skills and experience. And so we'll talk about like, hey, like, put yourself out there, apply.

You never know what could happen. And I've had clients who've applied and they've gotten the job and they've gotten like, higher levels up, they've gotten higher salaries. But it's just this thing of like, being able to take this, this like, chance on yourself and be able to see what could happen. So just being able to see, like, what can I try allow this to happen? And so once they've done that, they've built this belief of like, wait a minute, like, even if I don't have every single box checked, I know that if there is a gap, if I put myself out there, I can figure out a way to fill a plan to fill those gaps. And once you create that belief for yourself, it is so. It's so strong and you, you continue to have that tenfold.

And it's like a ripple effect. And so you start to build momentum. It's not just one action. It's a ripple effect that you start believing already in yourself over and over again. And that's the part that's like that belief in yourself, that confidence in yourself is something that is unshakable once you have it, because then you know what, so many things can be possible for you. It's the same thing when it comes to maybe you want to learn a new language or maybe you want to start taking up like running. And so it could be Something as simple as like being able to, you know, make a new friend while you're traveling. Like it can be something so small, but when you start to put yourself out there in these steps, you start to build this like openness, this belief and this resilience for yourself.

And so what happens when you keep trying new things? Over time you become more decisive, you become more curious, and you become less attached to doing things perfectly. And so that's a thing that's really important. These compound effects of doing these firsts allow you to start to see for yourself, okay, wait a minute, like if I want to do something, I just do it. I don't sit here and ruminate and wonder and pro con, list it repeatedly because it already popped in my mind. So if it popped in my mind, it's probably something that I'm curious about and that I want to do. So let me just go do it. So you become more decisive because now instead of like having this internal tennis match back and forth with yourself, you're just taking action and doing it.

It also allows you to become more curious because versus being scared or nervous or fearful of experiencing and trying new things. You're going to be more curious and like, and explore it because you're like, oh, if I have a question, I'll just go and look into it. Versus being like, is it okay? Is it the perfect time? Do I need to research more? You know, you end up becoming curious in a way that actually goes with action and you come more decisive and you become less attached to doing things perfectly. If you are somebody who wants to try new things, new experiences and lots of firsts, it's not going to happen with perfection because you will be sitting there thinking, wondering, plotting, planning, and you will have never taken action.

You're not going to have a lot of firsts. You'll be paralyzed by the perfection. Talking to somebody and speaking as somebody who's a recovering perfectionist. And so, you know, it's just being able to do these things and just experience them. And to, you know, the experience is not about doing it perfectly, it's about putting yourself out there and trying it. And that's, that's the part that helps evolve our brains. And so just knowing that these compound effects of these firsts just help you grow your confidence, your belief, your ability to expand your capacity, your ability to build your self trust. And so trying these new things help you redefine what success looks like for you. From outcomes to identity.

So you're essentially evolving your identity. You're evolving Your sense of self, you're evolving how you see yourself. Because now you're like, darn. I mean I can do the thing, I can do so many different things. Like I've done so many different firsts. And you know, I was talking about this the other, the other day I was in, I was in Central Asia for a month, month and a half. And I was laughing because I was like, well, one weekend I went camping overnight camping for the first time, like backpacking, carrying my backpack. And then the next weekend I was doing a three day horse track and you know, like so many different compounding firsts that I was kind of like, yeah, I mean when I do something for the first time, I guess I just, just go all in versus, you know, the light version.

But there could be so many fears of like, I don't know, it could be cold, it could be scary. What if, what if, what if? But just by doing them I've just kind of like unfazed my ability to try and experience new things, which has just strengthened my trust. And like, yeah, I probably can do it or yeah, it's not going to be a big deal. And so things just have this less weight to them because I'm able to see that by do these new environments, through these new experiences. I have this belief in myself. And again, I want to remind you it doesn't have to be that big. Like for me it was a big deal quite a few years ago to go to dinner by myself. Like living in New York, always having my calendar booked, like back to back to back to back book schedule, like calendar was completely like color coded.

I always had plans with like friends, anybody doing something, hardly ever having any time alone. And I was like scared to go to dinner by myself. I was like, I don't know, that seems really scary. Like what are people going to think? How, who am I going to talk to, what I'm going to do? And my friend was like, oh, are you like scared to be by yourself? And I was like, never had that thought, never had that reflection. Oh my gosh, me alone with my thoughts, never. And so it used to be a really big deal just to go to dinner by myself. And when I did it the first few times, I was like nervous. I was self conscious. I had a book, I had this, I had that. And the biggest thing that I found was that like, wait a minute, you know, with time I became more accustomed to it, I became more comfortable with it.

And by doing that I started to build more confidence in myself. I was like yeah, I'm here by myself. It's okay. And then I became, and I started to like it. Porn. I actually enjoyed it. And then I started scheduling it every single week to do it. And I started to make friends with, like, the person at the bar. And then it led me to want to explore doing my first solo trip and travel by myself, which I never thought about doing ever in a million years because there's so many different fears and thoughts and beliefs that are out there. And then when I did that, I was like, oh, my gosh, I can, like, plan a trip on my own. I can fly on my own. I can go do this on my own. Like, you just your level of confidence and belief and your decision making skills, like, just strengthen so much more because you have been able to exercise that and expand yourself in so many different ways.

So it can be something as simple as taking yourself to dinner on your own, going to that workout class that maybe scares you. Oh, my gosh. I had so many times I was terrified just to go to a workout class on my own of just the fear of, like, the instructor, the people in the class, like, getting the right things. And. And now it's like I'm unfazed because you just, you expand your capacity when you continue to expose yourself to things that are a little bit scary at first, and then you start to build your confidence in your belief, and it just, it just compounds, which is amazing. So I'm gonna wrap this up, but I hope you just kind of take away the part of how try new things. It really teaches you so much about yourself, and it really expands so much about yourself when it comes to all the things about your growth and your ability to expand your capacity.

And so I challenge you. Oh, yes, I challenge you. You don't have to do 100 new things, but I would love for you to at least list 10 new things that you would like to try for the first time. I'd love for you to list 10 new things that you would like to try for the first time. Maybe something small, could be something big. And I would love for you to at least share one of them with me. And you can share that with me by sending me a DM on LinkedIn at Danny Tan. And I would love to know what it is. I think for me, I have, like, a long list of things. I want to try rock climbing, I want to try ice climbing, I want to do skydiving, but that's a lot of skills. And so I want to try, like, van Life. But even something as.

Just as simple as like, I just, I want to try a lot of things for the first time. So I'm curious for you what you'd like to try for the first time. Alrighty. So hopefully you kind of like took some things away of how you can expand your capacity and you know where to find me. I will be here again next week. com that's D A N I T A N dot com. I work with my clients and so many different levels, whether it's from private coaching, group coaching or strategy sessions. So if you're someone who's like, I want to like try out coaching, but I'm not sure I offer strategy sessions for sure. And if you're someone who's like, nope, I'm ready to do the thing, then private coaching is most likely for you.

And my group is for my amazing community of, you know, women who are looking to get pivoted their careers and get promoted. So go ahead and find me there and I will check you out next week. Have a good one.