In this episode of the Coaching Q&A Series, I’m answering one of the most common questions I hear: What if I’m too busy for coaching right now?
It’s a fair question. Life feels full — between work, family, leadership responsibilities, and everything in between. But when we say “I’m too busy,” what we often mean is, I don’t see where this fits yet.
In this conversation, I share what it really means to be “too busy,” why creating space for growth matters, and how small, intentional changes can move you toward the future version of yourself — without burning out in the process.
Listen to the episode here: Coaching Q&A Series: What If I’m Too Busy For Coaching?
Are You Creating Space for Growth?
When clients tell me they’re too busy for coaching, I always ask: Are you creating space for the growth you want?
It’s not about denying that you’re busy — it’s about asking where your time and energy are going. If your entire week is filled with putting out fires, managing everyone else’s needs, and reacting to what’s urgent, there’s little room left for what’s important: your own development.
Growth doesn’t happen by accident. It happens when you intentionally carve out time — even thirty minutes a week — for the goals that matter most to you.
The Power of Strategic Time
Let’s take an example. One of my clients had been in her corporate career for over 25 years and dreamed of starting her own business. But between supporting her CEO, managing her team, handling partner negotiations, and showing up for her family, she couldn’t see where she’d find the time.
So we started small. We looked at her calendar, identified what was truly essential, and carved out just half an hour a week to focus on her business goals. That simple shift helped her go from thinking about her dream to building it.
You don’t need endless hours — you need consistency, structure, and clarity around how you’re spending your time.
Reactive vs. Proactive Growth
When you don’t make time for your own goals, you stay in reaction mode. You respond to whatever crisis or demand shows up next, which keeps your priorities buried under everyone else’s.
But when you’re proactive — when you dedicate even a small, protected space for your growth — you give yourself the ability to make clearer, calmer decisions. You build momentum before you’re forced to.
That’s why coaching often feels like a pause button for the chaos — it’s your space to step back, realign, and decide what deserves your energy.
Prioritizing Long-Term Impact
When your calendar runs your life instead of the other way around, it’s easy to lose sight of the bigger picture. Coaching helps you zoom out.
It’s not just about getting through this week’s to-do list — it’s about creating alignment between your actions today and the person you’re becoming next year.
If your goals include moving into leadership, changing industries, or building a business, you can’t afford to spend 100% of your time reacting. You need to invest some of it into designing the future you want.
Breaking the Cycle of Overgiving
Especially for women, leaders of color, and first-generation professionals, there’s often a deep pattern of overgiving. You’ve been conditioned to prioritize everyone else — your team, your family, your partner — before yourself.
But constant self-sacrifice leads to self-abandonment. It creates quiet resentment and keeps you from realizing your potential.
Taking time for yourself isn’t selfish — it’s a form of leadership. It models balance, boundaries, and self-worth for everyone around you.
My Story: Six Years of “Someday”
I know this firsthand. Before launching my business, I spent six years saying, someday, when things slow down, I’ll figure it out.
I had the experience, the drive, and the skills — but I hadn’t created the time or space. Once I finally invested in a coach, everything changed.
In three months, I had clarity, structure, and a live website. What had been “someday” for six years became real because I dedicated intentional time to it.
Key Takeaways
Create Space for Strategic Growth
You don’t need massive amounts of time — even 30 minutes a week focused on your goals can create real momentum.
Shift from Reactive to Proactive
Stop waiting for the perfect time. Schedule intentional space to work on what’s next instead of always responding to what’s now.
Prioritize for Long-Term Impact
Look beyond your immediate to-do list. Make decisions that support the future version of you, not just the present demands.
Break the Cycle of Overgiving
You can care for others and yourself. Prioritizing your own growth models healthy balance and boundaries for those around you.
Episode Timeline
00:00 – The question: “What if I’m too busy for coaching right now?”
01:00 – Creating space for growth
02:00 – The importance of time alignment
03:00 – Finding just 30 minutes for your future goals
04:00 – The cost of staying reactive
05:00 – Prioritizing long-term vision over short-term tasks
07:00 – Breaking the cycle of overgiving and self-abandonment
10:00 – Dani’s personal story of delaying her business dream
13:00 – How investing in coaching changed everything
14:00 – Reflection questions to help you reassess your time
Want More Support?
Explore additional resources and tips on my website or connect with me on LinkedIn for insights into building your network effectively.
- Website: https://www.danitan.com
- LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/dani-tan
Read the podcast episode transcript below.
Read the full episode transcript
Dani Tan: Diving into the next question of the coaching Q and a mini series, common questions, misconceptions. I get asked about coaching. I'm giving my take perspective and answers on going into it. So the next one is what if I'm too busy to focus on coaching right now? It's the time, the concern of having enough time. And so when we talk about what does that really mean? And what's underlying there? When I say I'm too busy. What if I'm too busy for this right now? The first piece is When I get that question, I always think about, are you creating space for growth for yourself and what it is you want to achieve? So in the sense of this, if you know that you want to work on something for next year, so I have this, one person that comes to mind, they have had their career for 25 plus years and they know ultimately they want to go into entrepreneurship full time.
But they are worried, how do I have enough time? I'm trying to deliver for my CEO. I'm trying to help my team with the part that's underperforming the members that are underperforming the people who are over indexing the promotions that I need to get them to negotiate these big deals that are coming in, um, with our partners. And I'm focusing all of this, plus I'm trying to take care of my kids. I'm trying to help my husband with his business. And so there's so many different facets that come in, right? So yeah, you sound super busy and I'm not going to deny that whatsoever, but I think here's the thing. You want to know what you're dedicating your time to right now. So what in your current day to day are you giving your energy and your time to and what percentage of that is In alignment with what you need to get done right now and who you want to be in the next year or two years, three years, because what we'll see is that we'll only focus on things that were like in the weeds of our life of like, I need to get these 10 things done to survive this week or next week.
But the tweak that I talk about when we work together is what percentage of those things are helping future you. So out of those 10 things on your list, or the 10 to do's for the week, you know, what percentage of those are going to help the version that you're trying to become for 2025 for next year or for in three years. So, in the example of someone who's working in corporate, who wants to build a business for themselves, ultimately, Before they even go into retirement is okay. Then how are you doing that? And what, what space do you want to give yourself with that? So I think the thing that's really important is creating space strategically for what it is that you're trying to achieve with the time to come.
And so. If you're someone who's like, well, I just have all these things that need to [00:03:00] get done and I don't know how I'm going to dedicate time to them. Then what we do is we sit down and we look literally at your schedule. We look at your schedule, we look at your tasks, we look at your responsibilities and we start to figure out where can we create space and adjust. So even if it's 30 minutes a week that you dedicate to what it is that you're trying to achieve, if it's building a business, if it's asking for a promotion. If it's just being able to be a leader, maybe within a new organization, how can we make sure that we're doing that for you, even if it's 30 minutes a week? Because if you never create space strategically for what your future vision is, how will you get there?
How will you get there? It will keep going to the bottom of your to do list. Okay. Keep getting moved to next week, which will keep getting pushed out. And like, here's an example for folks who are trying to, pivot careers, or they're trying to get a promotion for my career pivoters. They might know that ultimately they need to get their resume ready, do some, research on the industries, create some information interviews. But if they don't create time for that, then they're constantly prolonging it. And then it'll come to, Oh, well, you know, I've been thinking about it, but I don't know if I can do it. It's not that you don't know if you can do it. It's that, have you created the dedicated space and time to help commit to it?
So here's the next thing that will come up is this like reactiveness. So versus creating the space and being proactive, we're reactive because maybe we have been putting it off, putting it off, and we don't have the systems in place, the time and space and the strategy to set us up. So if you're somebody who's trying to get a new job, pivot careers, Grow in leadership and you've been putting off that time, then you're going to be in a reactive place. Like, let's say, for example, you know, that your industry is starting to take a downturn and you're still within it and you're still just trying to survive in the weeds of it, but you haven't created the space for having informational interviews, networking, exploring new industry.
So now let's say, perhaps you've been laid off. You've been let go, And now you have to be in a more reactive space where you're trying to work quickly under pressure, under stress, where there is anxiety, where there's burnout of you trying to [00:05:00] exhaust all your different options versus going from a place of being proactive and just dedicating some time there. So I think that's another reason why it is. Yes, you are very busy, but making sure that you're setting yourself up for success for the future version of you, in addition to who it is that you need to be now and who you need to serve right now. And the last thing is, you know, making sure you're able to prioritize for the long term result, prioritize for the longterm impact of what it is that you want to do.
Because when we are overrun and our schedules are basically running our lives and we are not running our schedules, it's not allowing us to prioritize what's truly important for us ultimately. So the thing that I will say is that I'll have a sit down and look at your calendar, look at your responsibilities and be like, okay, out of the things on your list, what Are, are these things truly going to serve who it is that you're trying to achieve for the next year or two years? If it's creating a new, business, if it is getting a leadership role with another company, for example, I have one client who ultimately wants to [00:06:00] be a CEO of a different company at some point. And so for her, what does that path look like, especially when she wants to jump industries and then the other pieces too.
If you're trying to help build a team that's going to hit a certain percentage of, you know, a certain amount of growth. And so you want them to achieve in a certain period of time, but you also know that ultimately you have to do that while getting ready for your next step. And so it's all trying to figure out what you're dedicating your time to and that you're not over delivering to everybody else. Because let's just say this thing, me. Woman of color, first gen, Asian Latina, or did you still be in Chinese? Uh, I'm really good at being of service. I'm really good at over indexing and taking care of everybody else. I'm really good at putting everybody else in priority over me. That was like a long, a long narrative for a long period of time.
You can do that, but what percentage will you say for yourself of what it is that you want to hit? What goals you want outside of that? Because if we come from a place where we've always been comfortable of putting everybody, in prioritization to us, in priority to us, [00:07:00] whether you're a mom, whether you are a partner, whether you are just, The eldest daughter, and you're trying to deliver for everybody else around you. if you are the go to travel planner in your friend group, that's fine. That's great. We love that, but you also need to figure out how you can take time to dedicate to yourself. So either you're taking care of yourself, you're not burning yourself out. So you're achieving what it is that you want to achieve.
So you're able to do those pieces too, because then we get stuck in this narrative of self abandonment of like, we can abandon ourselves and our goals and our dreams for everybody else. But then that will eventually always harbor this. Undertone of resentment or this undertone of, did we really accomplish what we wanted to accomplish in the time that we have in life is short. So, you know, I would just say, I would just say, think long and hard about what that is that you want. and how you can create space for that and prioritize that because it's not just for goals. It's not just for your career, it bleeds into everything. So if you are somebody who has a hard time prioritizing yourself, and you prioritize everybody else in your work, then how does that show up in your personal life?
How are you over-indexing for everybody else in your personal life, whether it's your family, your partner in your friends, how do you do that there? And how are you feeling in that sense? And what kind of example are you setting for your family in general or for your friends? Because the thing that I would say is that if we have been raised or a part of generational cycles, where, leaders or the matriarchs in those families have always said that everybody else is more important, they put everybody else before themselves and their goals, then we're just going to continue that pattern. And I'm not here for that. I'm one of those generational cycle breakers. So I'm not here for that. So if you want to.
Reestablish what is acceptable and what is okay and that you want to be there for you and show up for you and to show that to everybody else, you know, in your family and your friend group, there is no shame in that there is no shame in that you're not selfish, you're setting a tone. And so I think that think about what kind of legacy that you want to leave. And are you truly dedicating the right amount of time for yourself in order to make that happen? So I would say, think about again, creating space for strategic growth. You don't have to like get rid of everything, but what is that commitment that you can make to you? How can you be more proactive versus reactive? So you can really show up in alignment with what is that you want and also bring the best version of yourself, or at least a good version of yourself while you're doing it.
Not one that's like burnout or tired, exhausted, and frustrated, Well, that will still come out, but like, at least it doesn't have to be the leading driving force. And then how can you really prioritize for lasting impact? Not just, it's not just for the professional, it's for everything, whether it's boundaries, whether it's your people pleasing that's coming up, you know, whether it's this ability to over index to do good for others, those are all good things, but how can you make sure you're having the right balance of what serves you as well as what serves everybody else? And I think those are the things that are important. So you're not continually prolonging. And I'll give you a personal example.
For me [00:10:00] personally, I always knew I wanted to build my own business. I had no idea what kind of business. I personally wasn't overwhelmed. you know, I was told by outside perspectives multiple times of what I could do based off my expertise and my experience. And it didn't light me up. Like I was like, okay, that's all great advice. They're all amazing people. They're all experts in their own fields. But I was like, that doesn't excite me. That doesn't light me up. So external, opinions weren't going to drive it home for me when it came to what it is that I wanted to do. And I was in overwhelm of like so many different things. I mean, I, I'm a research learning yourself girly, you know, and I am all about accelerating my results.
Like some background, I graduated college in, in three years, not four, not five in three years while studying abroad while having multiple internships while still being the vice president of, you know, Multiple organizations, and that was because, you know, I have this ability to then take information and find what's most important and jump to it. So that's like just one of my jams. Let's just say that asked me to take a standardized test. That's not my jam and the [00:11:00] same thing when it came to corporate from my first job to my last job. I continuously excelled very rapidly when it came to my career trajectory, when it came to promotions, when it came to negotiation, all of those things, when it came to hiring teams, when it came to building out teams, when it came to getting them promoted and, and, you know, salary increases, that's just a part of my DNA.
But the thing is, is that when you are breaking space, Potentially somewhere where there was no laid out plan. So if there was no clear step of like it's step a, B, C, like when we are in university or when we were in corporate, there's usually a pretty easy path of like, step one is this role and here are the requirements. Step two is this role. These are the requirements or to get this degree. It's, you know, these are the classes required, but when we're breaking into on an uncharted territory, when it comes to either a pivot into a new industry, or it comes to, Going from individual contributor to a leader. Maybe we don't have like that clear path in front of us where it goes into entrepreneurship.
It has this murky gray area. So you can sit there and try to like sift it out, but if you don't have the time and space dedicated to it, it can slow it down. And so for me, when I was going to build my business to bring it back, I did not dedicate time to it. I just kept putting in the back of my mind that. I wanted to have something for myself. I wanted to build something for myself, but I didn't know what it was. And I wasn't carving out time and space to do it so much. So that six years went by six years, not six days, not six months, not six weeks, six years went by and it finally took me. Making the investment of working with a coach to make my business happen. And the reason why for me personally was at least I knew one, I invested this money and this time.
So I for sure was going to make sure I got a return on investment. So I was going to make sure that I carved out the time that was required to get my investment back. So that was for me, like, okay, I know I'm meeting on these calls with my coach. I know that I have these different assignments that I have to accomplish, and that helped me become more dedicated. So something that took me six years of just like sitting on this idea in the course of the time of working together in the course of three months, I already knew what I wanted my business to be, and it was up and running and I had a website. And so, That is just another testament of like, when we have this answer of I'm too busy. And my question is, okay, what's most important to you right now?
And what are you working on? And are you dedicating your time to the right things? And so I would ask you the questions I would ask you about your time right now would be, what are you working on right now? Does it light you up? Does it make you feel good? What is it serving you? Is it serving who you want to be just for this moment of what needs to get done? Is it serving the greater goals of who it is you want to be? And I would sit with that and think about it and reflect on it. And if you have any questions on it, I'm here for you and you know where to find me and you'll catch me on the next episode of the series.
