In this episode, I’m breaking down one of the most common questions I hear from clients: What if I don’t know what I want yet? Whether you’re navigating a career change, building a business, or stepping into leadership, that sense of uncertainty can feel paralyzing—but it’s also completely normal.
Listen to the episode here: Coaching Q&A Series: What If I Don’t Know What I Want Yet?
When You Feel Unsure About Your Next Step
If you’ve ever said, “I don’t know what I want,” you’re not alone. Many people come into coaching knowing they need support, but not knowing exactly what that support should look like. Maybe your leadership team suggested coaching, or you and your business partner want outside guidance, but you’re not clear on what’s next.
Here’s the truth: you don’t need to have it all figured out before you start. Coaching isn’t about someone else telling you who you should be or what to do—it’s about helping you discover that for yourself.
Coaching vs. Consulting
A coach’s job is to guide you toward clarity through self-discovery, not to prescribe a single path or solution. Consulting often tells you, “Here’s what you should do.” Coaching helps you uncover your own answers by exploring your experiences, patterns, and goals.
For example, if you’re a career pivoter, a coach won’t tell you to go into marketing or sales. Instead, we’ll look at your past roles—what you enjoyed, what drained you, what lit you up—and connect those patterns to potential next steps.
The same applies to leadership development. When a client says, “My team told me I need more executive presence, but I don’t know what that means,” we dig deeper. What feedback are you getting? What’s already working? What’s missing in how you show up or communicate? Together, we create a clear map of what growth looks like for you.
Clarity Comes from Action
You don’t need a perfect plan before you start—you need a starting point. Many of my clients begin by saying they’re confused, but by the end of every session, they leave with a clear plan of action.
Clarity often comes after you take the first few steps. For example, a client wanting to start a business might begin with a big, vague idea. Through coaching, we break it down: Who’s your ideal client? What problem do you solve? How do you reach them? What’s your price point? Bit by bit, it becomes tangible and achievable.
The same goes for personal growth. You might know you want to regulate your emotions better or stop shutting down when stressed—but not know how. A good coach helps you identify your patterns and create tools to move through them.
You Know More Than You Think
When someone says, “I don’t know what I want,” I often remind them: you do—you just don’t have full clarity yet. The seed is already planted. You reached out for support, which means you’re ready to take the next step.
Working with a coach helps you move from vague desire to clear direction, with an actionable plan that feels aligned and achievable.
Key Takeaways
1. You Don’t Need It All Figured Out
Clarity comes through exploration and action—not waiting for the perfect plan.
2. Coaching Is About Discovery, Not Direction
A coach guides you to uncover your own answers, rather than dictating your path.
3. Action Creates Clarity
Taking small, intentional steps helps reveal what you truly want and need.
4. You Already Know More Than You Think
The fact that you’re seeking support means you’re ready to move forward.
Timestamped Overview
00:00 – Common coaching question: “What if I don’t know what I want?”
01:00 – Why coaching starts with curiosity, not certainty
02:00 – Coaching vs. consulting: discovering your own path
03:00 – Building clarity through frameworks and guided reflection
04:00 – Turning big goals into clear, actionable steps
05:00 – Real-life examples of clarity through coaching
06:00 – How self-discovery builds long-term confidence and direction
Want More Support?
Explore additional resources and tips on my website or connect with me on LinkedIn for insights into building your network effectively.
- Website: https://www.danitan.com
- LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/dani-tan
Read the podcast episode transcript below.
Read the full episode transcript
Dani Tan: Welcome back to this mini series on coaching Q and a common questions and misconceptions. I get asked about coaching and I'm sharing my take perspective and answers. So let's jump in. The next one is, I don't know what I want. I'm not sure what I want yet. I'm not sure on what my next step is. I don't know. Dani Tan: And so that will definitely come up on a call. So I could have someone who books a consultation call and they fill out the form and they have an idea of what they want. They're like, well, I know that I need support. I have been given a, you know, feedback maybe from my leadership team that I should have someone who could kind of coach me when it comes to my leadership style.
Dani Tan: I also know that I have a business, and my friend, who's my co-owner, has talked about us getting guidance and support too. But I'm just not really sure exactly what it is that I need. I, I'm not sure what the next step should be, but I know that I want to partner there. So a couple of things that we'll dive into is like, the first thing I'll say is this, yes, I definitely want somebody to come in to our coaching relationship and have an idea of what it is that they want in the sense of. Dani Tan: They're not looking to dole out their decision making skills to someone else. They're not looking to dole out what the future of their business or their career or their life looks like to somebody else.
I do believe that you should have your own, guiding light of who it is that you want to be, what it is that you want to do. Dani Tan: I don't think it's any coach's responsibility to dictate to you who you are, who you should be, and what you should do. A coach's responsibility is truly to give you guidance. And so When there is a blurriness or there is like, lack of clarity, that's also our job too. That's definitely my responsibility to help you kind of start to have that clarity and how do we do that? Dani Tan: The 1st thing is like the discovery piece. So again, versus someone coming in and telling you, which is more a consultant's role of coming in and saying, like, hey, this should be, you know, Your personal brand.
This should be your business. This should be the solution that you take. This should be your career. Dani Tan: That's not how it goes. It's actually more so about helping you gain clarity through self discovery. So helping you know that and uncover how to get there. So if it's someone who's a career pivoter. It's not for a coach to come in and say, you should be in marketing or you should be in sales or you should in business. Dani Tan: It should really be self discovery of them saying, okay, let's track back out of your past experiences. What did you like? What did you not like? What in your personal life do you truly enjoy doing? Where are there different patterns in that that we could start to pull out pieces of things for you to start to explore of the different pathways or if it comes to leadership?
Dani Tan: Okay, let's look at the feedback back at your team. what did the team members say? What did they say are your strengths? What are the common patterns of things that you need to work on? The same thing with your leadership team. What feedback have they given you in past reviews that have been amazing? Dani Tan: No notes versus the things that you think you need to work on. We do that self guided discovery so that way you can start to create a plan and have guidance of what to work for. So that's how we work together. And then there's just able to create more clarity. So versus you feeling like, I know I need to get to this end result, but I have no idea how to get there. Dani Tan: We work [00:03:00] together through questions, through guidance, through frameworks to get you there and so you start to have a clear path of where you want to go without a clear path, you're stalled.
You're stagnant. You're unsure. And you're kind of like, just grasping in the dark of what possible solutions can be when you have a plan and a vision and there's a path forward. Dani Tan: You know what you need to do to either gain those skill sets, to work towards those things, to articulate what your needs are, what your requirements are to make that happen. And that's how you can start to gain clarity. So that's when people are like, Oh, I don't know what I want though. I'm like, well, you do because you booked the call to have a consultation and you have goals in here. Dani Tan: But really what you're looking for is the clarity and the path of how you should get there. And that's the biggest thing.
when we're working together, that we'll do. And That's one of my jams is I feel like a lot of clients will repeat back to me and they'll say, you know, I came in really confused, but every time I leave every single call, I have a very clear plan of action of what it is that I need to do. Dani Tan: and it's because it's all there, but it's about us just like cleaning through the clutter and figure out what the clear [00:04:00] paths are. And so. Some of them may be, you know, folks who are ready to build a business and they are just not sure where to start. They have the concept and the idea, but then they are jumping maybe to like a marketing piece. Dani Tan: And I'm like, Hey, let's go back.
Like, who's your ideal client? And Where do they live? where are they going on social media? How are you going to reach them? What kind of things are they looking for? How we support them? What is the price point of your products? You know, what is the name of it? What are the attributes of it? Dani Tan: So being able to know that you have this big pie in the sky idea, but how do we break it down? So it's actual. So it's like, you do know what you want, but it's just having the clarity of how to get there to have that next step. So you feel sure about it. It's the same thing with leadership is I know that I have to have more presence, but I have no idea what that means. Dani Tan: I've been given feedback over and over again that I have to have more executive presence, but I have no idea what that means.
And they'll tell me, Oh, you know, speak up or, Oh, you know, chime in more or, Oh, share your perspectives more, but that's too vague. And so I don't [00:05:00] know what I want or need yet in order to make that happen. Dani Tan: And so my responsibility is to come in and help you and say, okay, like, what do we think? Are the patterns are the things that is not being communicated enough for you to be seen in that way and what do we feel like has already been working in past experiences and then creating a map of this is what we'll do to work forward with it. Dani Tan: And so that's a big thing, too. And I will just share for myself for myself, too. I have done coaching as well on many different things, and I have signed up knowing that, like, okay, I know that I want to have a better understanding of mapping out my.
Okay. nervous system and my triggers and my emotions, but I'm not sure what that means. Dani Tan: I know that I want to be able to support myself better, but I don't know what that means. And so it was that coach's responsibility to say, okay, well, you want to understand is when I'm going in a pattern of a loop, how do I identify that it's happening? And then how do I support myself through it? So that way you don't feel as like overwhelmed or shut down for weeks on end, unable to do something. Dani Tan: And I was like, yeah, that's what it is. And so that's the difference of saying the question or having the statement of, I don't know what I want yet. Yes, you have an idea, but it's being able to have some in there to give you the clarity and guidance.
Same thing with like building a business. Dani Tan: When I worked with my first business coach ever, I was like, I know I want something, but I have no idea what I want. So I don't know if I'm ready yet. And she was like, no, yes, you are. We'll work together and we'll do the discovery to figure out what it is you've enjoyed. What is it you haven't enjoyed to then create a path. Dani Tan: And she was right. I worked with her and then we were able to create a path and here I am years later. So just so you can kind of get a sense of when that comes up of, I'm not sure what the next step is. I don't know what I want yet. So is it the right time? I'm not sure. It's truly having just that seed of an idea and then working with a partner, working with a coach to create that clarity with you.
