Dani Tan: Welcome back to the coaching Q and a mini series where I'm going through common questions and misconceptions that are asked and talked about when it comes to coaching. I'm giving my take perspective and answers to those questions. And for our next one, it's going to be his coaching. Just giving advice. Dani Tan: Is it like therapy? is it consulting? What, what is coaching and is it just about giving advice? And I would say no, no, no. Coaching is not just about giving advice. it's definitely about you being able to advocate for yourself, your goals, what it is that you want. And I think this is something that's really important to address because sometimes when we go into coaching, our folks come into coaching, they think that The person that's coaching them is there to tell them what they should do or tell them who they should be.

Dani Tan: And that's definitely not the case. My at least, especially for my approach, especially for my approach, I want you to build the self belief, self trust, and have the inner guidance to know what it is that you want to do. But maybe there is either a fear, a hesitation, that is stopping you or slowing you down from achieving it. Dani Tan: And I'm here to help you create that become reality. And so how do we do that? So the first thing I would say is that, you know, when you're thinking about a consultant, a consultant comes into a business, they look at what you've been doing for the business. They look at where you want to go with the business and they will tell you, okay, this is exactly what you do.

Dani Tan: Point A point B point C. This is how your trajectory will be. And the consultant is serving up for you that information or they're serving up for you an assessment on, your marketing or they're serving up for an assessment on analytics of your numbers. And I would say that in coaching, yeah, there's gonna be a little touch of consulting, but there isn't going to be a big, huge undertaking where the coach is saying, Yeah. Dani Tan: This is what your brand should be. This is what your business should be. This is the job that you should go after. No, we're here to ask you questions, to lead you to that path, to create guidance and to create clarity and I would say it definitely differs from therapy in the sense of in therapy.

Dani Tan: There's all different types of therapy, too. Let me just say that's disclaimer. But in therapy, you're looking at the past, you're looking at, past experiences, you're digging into those past experiences, you're digging into past patterns, past behaviors, or maybe even current how they're affecting your present and how they could potentially affect your future. Dani Tan: And the difference with coaching is that, yes, do I touch on potential past experiences that may be affecting your ability to take action? Yes, but I'm not diving deep with you on all the way of the inner workings to the core of why those behaviors may be coming up. I have an understanding from, you know, the experiences and the coaching and the training that I've done, but the thing that we're most focused on within coaching is taking action.

Dani Tan: So yes, we'll identify those blockers, at a certain level, and then we'll make sure that once we've identified them, that I create a plan for you that makes sense and has that sensitivity to those past experiences to help you take action because. Especially for those who are immigrants, [00:03:00] children of immigrants, you know, first to break into a certain industry, woman, women of color, any kind of like marginalized background or just someone who's doing something for the first time. Dani Tan: We may have these underlying layers as to why it's difficult for us to step out of our comfort zone, to step out of this box. And so it is good to have like an understanding of those past markers, but But my goal really is to help you, okay, knowing that, how can we make your future steps, your future plan more achievable?

Dani Tan: Because that's why we can't always take every single piece of advice given to us and just like swallow it and run with it because everyone has different past experiences that shape how they take action now. So I would say, you know, if you're like, is coaching, just giving advice, How is it different from therapy or consulting? Dani Tan: The biggest markers are is that coaching is. Definitely here for self reflection, discovery, being able to have that self trust, that confidence, create a guide and a supportive structure for you to move forward and to take action towards what it is you need to. [00:04:00] It has a nod to the past, but does not live in the past of those experiences and living it more like therapy does.

Dani Tan: And it's not consultative, like a consultant who will be serving up for you, the solution who be serving up for you of who your options. That's definitely not the case. We're more of a guide and a partner when it comes to that, but it's truly also the most important piece is being able to help you advocate for your needs, empower you to make choices, empower you to pull for what you really want to do. Dani Tan: And I think those are the things that are most important. I have had clients. Who have come in, who are looking for the answers to be served up to them. And the thing is, is that it won't work. So I'm not going to say every single client has been a hundred percent slam dunk when it came to how it is to work together, because some folks truly do want to be told what it is that they should do.

Dani Tan: And while yes, you can have somebody there to bounce ideas off of, so you have recommendations, it just isn't going to leave you a good lasting experience. And the reason why is because If you are someone who is constantly taking in what everyone else tells you, you should be, you're going to keep running with everybody else's ideas. Dani Tan: And then that usually fosters you to potentially have an outcome of not being happy where you are because you didn't necessarily practice the ability to reflect, look inward and listen to what it is that you really want. So when you're listening to all these external voices versus your internal voice, I have folks that come to me years later and they're like, yeah, I just feel like I'm lost.

Dani Tan: You know, gone my entire career. And I just feel like nothing has ever been a match, but the thing is, is that they've always been listening to these external voices versus really trying to reflect internally. And so the work that we'll do together is really being able to make sure, Hey, what is it that you really want? Dani Tan: Who is it that you really want to be? What is an alignment with you versus taking in all these external pieces? And that's the work that we do together. and I think that is the piece that's most important. So yes, if you're somebody who's like, Oh, I want to go into coaching. Yeah. Tell me what my job should be and tell me who I should be. Dani Tan: Then I'm definitely not the coach for you.

And I like to say that because I do think it's important to you. Yes. If you're [00:06:00] unsure of what you want to do and you want help exploring that, I'm definitely here for you. Um, but if you want someone who's going to tell you how, like what your brand should be, who you should be, then that would be more of a consultant role versus a coaching role. Dani Tan: A coach is here to help you empower and advocate for yourself. So just to bring it back. That is. A little bit more on the depths of coaching and how it is the same or different or overlaps with all the different facets within the coaching consulting therapy world and the difference between guidance and advice. Dani Tan: And if you have any other questions that you know where to find me, but that's it for this episode.